We are told that confidence is sexy. That confident people get further in life. They earn more, they dare more. But we already know that. Of course we want to be confident! So the real question is how to build confidence?
Luckily there are a few things that can help us improve our self esteem. Confidence is a skill and it can be learned. We can even do it by only investing a few minutes a day!
Disclosure: Some of the links below are so-called provision links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, I can earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase.
How to build confidence: Positive self talk
Do you look in the mirror in the morning and tell yourself how great you are? No? Then it’s about time you start!
The positive effect of motivational self talk on confidence is scientifically proven! In the conducted study not only did cognitive anxiety decrease, self confidence improved significantly. This had a positive effect on performance. And guess what? When your performance increases, your confidence improves again! Positive self talk, when used regularly, is really a gift that keeps on giving.
If you need more pointers about this topic, check out my post about positive affirmations.
How to build confidence: Fix your posture
When it comes to your posture the old saying of “faking it till you make it” is scientifically correct. Stand up tall. Imagine you are being incredibly proud of yourself and everything you do. Now physically get into that posture. Yes, now. Just do it. And keep it!
Can you feel the difference? This happens because your posture influences your hormones. By “power posing” your stress hormones decrease and your testosterone rises. This makes us indeed feel more powerful!
The effect of posture on confidence works the other way around too! So make sure to check in on your posture regularly. If you want to be confident, you first have to pose like it!
My personal favourite is standing as if I was wearing Superman’s cape. Always works and it’s a very encouraging visual, too.
If you feel like you need a little more help on improving your slouched shoulders, check out my post on how to fix your posture. It contains several exercises to go from “meh” to “yeah”!
How to build confidence: Take action – regardless of how you feel about it
Remember the last time you did something a little bit out of your comfort zone? And do you remember that thrilling feeling afterwards, when the perceived “danger” was over? How about getting that feeling more often?
If you are wondering how to build confidence, this is the answer. It is the easiest and at the same time the hardest way to build up your self esteem.
What is the thing you “would do if you were confident”? Talk to new people? Apply for that awesome job you want? Whatever it is, start by doing steps towards it. Training steps, if you will.
If you want to be more confident when interacting with people, maybe start by simply looking people in the eyes when you pass them on the street. For many people, this is already a difficult step. And difficult in this context means: That’s exactly what we want to do!
The more you expose yourself to situations like that, the more your brain will learn that
a) there is no real danger here
b) you can actually do all of these things! And do them well. Without dying!
You are basically training your confidence like you would any muscle in your body. Keep repeating exercises that put just the right amount of stress on the muscle.
For learning how to take action even though your brain tells you otherwise, I wholeheartedly recommend the book “The 5 second rule*” by Mel Robbins! It has helped me so much in actually going for what I want to do, instead of worrying about what might go wrong.
How to build confidence: Recap
So to recap: If you have been asking yourself “How to build confidence?”, do these three things for the next 30 days.
- Make positive self talk a fixed part of your day. Ideally do it in the morning and in front of a mirror.
- Fix your posture and do “power posing” when you feel in need of a little extra boost!
- Do something daring every day. Doesn’t matter if big or small. Just dare to do the thing you secretly want to do!
Sticking with this will make an incredible difference! And who knows where you will go from there, with your new found confidence?
Is confidence an easy topic for you or are you still working on it? I’d love to hear your stories in the comments!
*These links are so-called provision links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, I can earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase.